its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
