Having a random hookup so left but love u
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
