Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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