I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
