He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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