i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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