capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize