I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
