We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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