I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
