got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
