this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
