You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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