You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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