He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Such a big mess for such a small penis
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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