Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
