Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize