just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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