how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
