I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Boobs speak an international language.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
