I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
