we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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