I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
