I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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