He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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