I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
