if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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