My room smells like vodka and shame
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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