after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I love you.
Bad choice
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
