I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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