next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
