i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
