Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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