why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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