1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
