I love black thongs
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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