Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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