I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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