I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
