she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
