What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
