My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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