is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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