After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Fuck appropriateness.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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