Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
