problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
