she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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