Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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