Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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