were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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I just found a bag of teeth...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
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I will be naked everywhere
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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