Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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