if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
