While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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