i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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