? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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