She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
