addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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