conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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