I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
