I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
