Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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