Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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